


disco vibes but skull has a fucking gun

by pigeonpi



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Character Death, Homophobia, M/M, Other, Parent Death, also, gun - Freeform, i am half asleep lmao, read the title it explains basically everything, she doesnt have an actual name lol, skull has a gun, yall dont take this seriously this is a shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonpi/pseuds/pigeonpi
Summary: Skull is fed up with the bullshit spewing out of Aloha's mother's mouth. Time to take matters into his own hands, he decides.please read the tags and the beginning notes before reading. this may be a shitpost, but still.
Relationships: Aloha/Army/Mask/Skull (Splatoon)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	disco vibes but skull has a fucking gun

**Author's Note:**

> TW: death (specifically of the mother kind), a gun, homophobia
> 
> so you may be asking: pidge, what the actual fuck is this?
> 
> well, i dont have an answer for you
> 
> oh yeah skull has an actual human gun that can kill, thought that was important. discussed the possibilities about this with da bf and we came up with a funni headcanon relating to it
> 
> this is a shitpost. for the love of cod, dont take this seriously 
> 
> besides the content. like death. take the fact that it happens seriously, please.
> 
> i cannot mentally take upon the task of writing disco vibes right now but heeeey i have thiiis?
> 
> this is badly written because uh yeah

"Uh... Y'all should really go, this ain't a party or nothin'." Aloha looked really nervous, his eyes darting between the two groups standing in his kitchen. "There ain't any food or drinks or anythin'."

On one side, there was the rest of the S4. Mask, Army, and Skull.

On the other side, his mother stood there, glaring at all of them.

"I'll leave after they leave." His mother stated.

"Well, weee're not fuuucking leaaaving." Mask retorted. "Your mooove, homophooobe."

So now they were in a deadlock. Aloha was getting increasingly more uncomfortable, and honestly just wanted to go back to his bedroom and blast music and _forget_ that this even happened. 

"Guys? Can y'all uh... please do this _outside_ of my apartment? Like seriously, this ain't cool." 

His mother sighed, and grabbed Aloha's arm tightly. "Why don't you get them to leave? They're bad for you, anyways. I can help you off this wrongful path you're going down, son."

"How, exactly, are we bad for him?" Army asked. "From the information I've gathered, you seem to be uncomfortable because you follow... ahem." He cleared his throat. "'toxic Sky Daddy' teachings?"

At that, Aloha burst into laughter, as did Mask. Skull snorted in surprise. 

"hAH- HAHA- _Army-_ How did- how did you say that with a straight face?" Aloha wheezed out. "Duuude-"

"Which one of you two taught him that?" Skull seemed amused by the whole situation. 

Mask raised his hand, bent over and also wheezing. "I- I didn't thiiink- he'd aaactually use it- oh my _coood._ "

Unfortunately, Aloha's mother has a shit sense of humor, so she just stared at the four of them, and judged them silently. Get a better sense of humor, lady. And a better personality.

"Are you all this stupid because you have less braincells?" She sighed.

"And what makes you assume that we have a lack of braincells?" Army shot back.

"All of the braincells that would warn you away from these homosexual... thoughts... seem to be nonexistant."

"So by your logic, you're gay?" Skull asked. "You aren't very smart."

She looked furious. The hand she had gripped around the pink squid was getting a bit too tight for his liking, and he started to try to wriggle his arm out of her grip. "You... degenerates do not get to tell me whether I am smart or stupid. You are too... disgusting for that."

"Shawty please lemme go- dude this is seriously too tight- mum!" He tried to yank his arm away, and only succeeded in hurting himself. "FUCK-"

"Stop struggling. You wouldn't be hurt if you hadn't struggled." She snarled harshly. "Get those devils out of this apartment before they taint you even fur-"

**BANG.**

Aloha's immediate reaction to the loud bang was to drop to the floor and curl up. So that's what he did. His mother's arm had suddenly slackened its grip, and his brain was not about to think about why. 

Mask and Army turned to see their taller partner holding a smoking gun. A... human, smoking gun. Skull was holding a gun.

"Whaaat the fuuuck..." Mask whispered. 

Army looked completely bewildered. "Where did you acquire- why do you even have- do you have that thing on you at all- how did you get it to-" His brain couldn't settle on one question. 

Skull looked down at the gun. "Sorry dad, I broke rule number one."

"I- Skull, you just shot her?" Army's voice was getting louder.

Skull shrugged. "I was getting tired of her cult-ish bullshit."

"So you _shot_ her??" 

Skull nodded. "Seemed like the logical thing to do."

Army looked like he was going to faint on the spot.

Mask stared at the gun, muttering questions to himself as he studied the very real, very human gun.

And Aloha looked up at Skull. 

He didn't really know how exactly to feel about this current predicament. But he did know that his mother was _definitely_ dead, since she got shot with a _very_ real gun. 

That Skull... owned. For some reason. He should really be more worried about this, shouldn't he?

Oh well. He didn't really know what to do that would be in any way appropriate.

So he did the only thing he really knew how to do in emotional turmoil. 

Make a really shitty joke.

"...I guess Skull ended homophobia, huh?"

Mask choked. 

**Author's Note:**

> shawty i cannot take my angst fics seriously anymore
> 
> I ALMOST WROTE "skull raised an eyebrow" BEFORE REMEMBERING HE AINT GOT NONE
> 
> i keep laughing at the one "shawty please lemme go" line PLEASE IM SO EXHAUSTED
> 
> im editing this story to this one edit of aloha thats my most favoritest edit of him like. ever. honestly this whole thing was inspired by it kind of
> 
> originally it was supposed to be aloha with the gun but then i was like "nah nah nah, SKULL with a gun"
> 
> also can i just say that the old splatoon manga dub voice of him is my headcanon voice for aloha,, like i literally cannot hear him in any other voice-
> 
> having an aloha tulpa makes like- doing anything coroika related really really confusing
> 
> he scares the shit outta me all of the time because i always forgets hes there LMAO
> 
> tempted to give him a nickname of 'hippie' so we dont end up screaming all of the damn time
> 
> if you dont know what a tulpa is, go about your day blissfully
> 
> anyways some stupid bullshit™ happened to me recently and ive fallen back into the big sad™ so if i write more angst this is why (:
> 
> if yall want some stupid letters i wrote between aloha and shitty mum then i shall post them eventually


End file.
